Obama in office y yo ...?

I experienced racism, sexism, Sitting in the local starbux the day after the November 4 presidential election, with my mom discussing our experiences as women of color and how are realities are intersected with many things.  I am discussing with her my process of applying to graduates school, just when a white male sitting across from us ask, “what are you studying at UCLA,” I respond, ethnic studies, Chicana and Chicano studies, his face deforms and responds, “what are you gonna do with that,” again I answer “I am going to become a professor,” he then quickly replies “No you’re not young lady because there is only one culture, The American Culture and other ethnicities and ethnic studies does not exist. I defend my position and pupose by stating  “Well that is your personal belief I believe in the different histories, communities and experience of different groups of people.” He then aggressively stated, “No it is all American because in the Constitution,” I then become emotional and reactionary as I reply, “the constitution drafted by all white men does not reflect me or my personal beliefs and I am choosing to end this conversation with you.”  My mom and me get up and walk away.  My mom ask, “mija do you face people like this often. I said “yes.”  I know this man has no control over me, my future, or my beliefs but I also know many other “Americans” share his view and this is what motivates me to engage in discourse and pursue a graduate degree in ethnic studies where I can continue raising consciousness and creating space and recover voices that represent the multiple subjectives of people of color and all marginalized oppressed peoples who have been left out of discourse.   

yes I can

Today started with a hope and ended with a new vision.  I too can over come and prevail all the challenges, falls, bumps, and obstacles because my vision embodies a voice that through history and within society has been silenced and ignored.  Although everyday is hard, I know the end will come and the decision I make next spring will be the one that will allow me to further grow and develop.  SO I Can, and I will.

body me AND grad apps.

So as i continue this applying to grad school, i become more aware of myself and all the things i wish to improve.  The anxiety of this process has caused me to lose 5 lbs Monday through Friday and gain 10 lbs on the weekends, which results in an overall weight gain.  My body the reality of me and my writing. My thought are everywhere right now, its hard to be clear and make sense.  This past Thursday i spent half a day working on one paragraph for my statement of purpose, which may i remind you still requires editing.  I have no idea where i will end up next fall but this process is slowing depleting my self esteem, which results in the perpetual misuse of my body, over eating.  let me end on a bright note my commitment fro next week is to live in the moment.  Virgen mia give me strength.